Dads are more important than ever.

A new survey suggests that approximately 6% of dads, or 600,000 men, are now their child’s main carer at home. This figure has risen from about 60,000 in 2000.

The majority of dads who stayed at home did so because their partner earned the higher salary, according to the survey of 1,000 parents by insurance firm Aviva. Mums earned more in one in six of all the households surveyed.

The men who stayed at home were generally happier with the arrangement than the women, with 75% of dads saying that they were fortunate to spend so much time with their children.

Nearly a third of the dads said they found looking after the kids more rewarding than going to work, although, 10% admitted they felt less of a man because they were not earning.

Another study by the University of Oxford found that dads these days are generally more hands-on than their own dads were, and spend much more quality time with their children. They spent an average of 32-36 minutes a day caring for their kids in 2000, compared to 3-8 minutes in 1975.

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Do I have to breastfeed all of the time?

Although there is no doubt that breastfeeding is best for your baby, most babies will get some formula milk some of the time. Breastfeeding is not always possible. You might be an adoptive mother or have a medical reason not to breastfeed. Others might just decide that breastfeeding is not for them or, may breastfeed for a short period after the birth before moving onto formula feeding. If you wish to supplement your breastfeeding with formula milk wait until you have been breastfeeding for three to four weeks to preserve your own milk supply.

During breastfeeding is a wonderful time for mothers to bond and build a unique closeness with their baby. If you move onto formula, perhaps so Dad can take some of the strain, make sure that you continue to feed in the same manner and, that the cuddles your baby got whilst you were breastfeeding continue. Hold your baby close with their head slightly elevated at an angle and make sure that the bottle is upright to minimise the possibility of your baby taking in air whilst feeding.

When you purchase your infant formula you can be confident that it will meet your baby’s nutritional needs in full. The major brands are all very similar and, unless you are told otherwise by your doctor make sure you get one that is fortified with iron. Formula milks come in three basic types;

• Powder (very economical)
• Liquid concentrate (a bit more expensive)
• Ready-to-use (the most expensive)

Unsurprisingly, the formula’s which are ready to use and require little effort are the most expensive. However, don’t feel that you have to buy these to get the best for your baby. If they are mixed properly, in accordance with the instructions the powder concentrates are equally as good.

Water to mix with formula

In most cases you don’t have to use any special water with your formula unless there is a problem with your water supply. If you have doubts check with your doctor and your water company.

How much formula is enough?

New-borns start with a very small stomach which can only hold 1-2 teaspoons (5-10ml) of milk for the first week but, this amount will start to increase almost immediately. By the end of the first month your baby will be taking around 120ml per feed every four hours.

Age Amount of feed Frequency of feed

New-born 60-90ml every 3-4 hours

One month 120ml every 4 hours

Two months 120ml 6-7 feeds every 24 hours

Four months 120-180ml 6 feeds every 24 hours

Six months 180-240ml 5 feeds every 24 hours

One year 480-720ml 3-4 feeds every 24 hours

The above table is a guide only as the actual amount a baby takes may vary significantly depending on your baby’s size. Needs and appetites also vary day by day and, month by month. Your baby will feed as often as they need too as long as you learn to read the signs and interpret them properly. Don’t offer the bottle every time your baby cries, especially if it is just after a feed. Remember, babies cry for many reasons. Learn to read if they are hungry or if they just want your attention.

Formula milk moves more slowly through a baby’s digestive system so expect feeds to be less frequent if you have been breastfeeding and switch to formula. Also, the stools may be a little harder and drier.

Remember all babies are individuals so, don’t force-feed if you think they are not drinking enough and, don’t leave them wanting more if they empty a bottle and show signs of wanting more. Also, a baby who often regurgitates after a feed may do better with smaller, more frequent feeds.

Things you should know

• Babies often loose a little weight straight after birth. As long as they continue to feed normally you have no need to worry.
• All equipment used in feeding your baby needs to be washed using warm soapy water and sterilised before use. Most sterilising is now done in a microwave using a sterilising unit.
• Always wash your hands before making up a batch of feed.
• Prepared formula can be stored in a fridge for up to 48 hours if the teat is untouched by the baby. If it has been touched you should throw away the rest of the feed.
• You don’t have to warm the mix but most babies don’t like it straight out of the fridge. Don’t warm milk using a microwave as they can heat the mixture unevenly leaving “hotspots” in the mix.
• Most formula milks are based on cow’s milk so if your family has an intolerance to this discuss it with your doctor before you give it to your baby. There are alternatives based on Soya.

Be aware of the following

• Unused formula “goes off” very quickly and the teats can be like magnates to bacteria. Throw away any unused milk and always sterilise your equipment.
• Evaporated milk is the wrong balance for baby’s digestive system and can put unnecessary stress on your babies guts and kidney’s.
• Do not use cow’s milk until your baby is at least 12 months old.
• Don’t add honey to anything. It can contain spores which can cause serious illness in children under 12 months.
• Don’t dilute formula. If you are struggling financially talk to you health visitor who will be able to help.

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Breast feeding in Public

Although you may feel uncomfortable when you breastfeed in front of other people it is perfectly acceptable to do so. Mums have the legal right to breastfeed in public during the first six months of their baby’s life.

Some tops are designed to help you feed discreetly. If you have to unbutton your blouse it will only make you feel more uncomfortable and exposed whilst you are feeding. Also, buttons are a hindrance you can do without. Stretchy tops, which you can just, lift up work well. If it helps you feel more relaxed consider covering yourself by draping a scarf or lightweight blanket over your shoulder and chest area whilst you feed your baby. This will help with privacy. Remember to make sure your baby can breath easily whilst they are covered though.

Some large shops have mother and baby facilities where you can feed comfortably amongst other mums. Some councils also produce leaflets on where facilities are provided.

Remember that feeding your baby when they are hungry is your first priority and you shouldn’t feel self-conscious about doing what’s best for them. When you become more familiar with breastfeeding, you won’t think twice about doing it in public.

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Breast feeding for new mums

If you have just started to try to breastfeed you’re doing the best thing for your baby. If it doesn’t come naturally to you, don’t worry. Plenty of mums need practice and perseverance until they get the hang of it. Here, I’ll try to guide you through the first few steps.

Breast milk is the best food available to your baby. Babies who are breastfed from birth are much less likely to be ill in the first year of their life. Breast milk may help protect your baby from illnesses such as ; gastroenteritis, bronchiolitis, pneumonia, eczema, ear and urinary tract infections. Its also possible that breastfeeding helps your baby stay healthy in the long term too.

It’s not just your baby who may benefit from breastfeeding. It’s good for you too. Its helps lower your chance of getting breast cancer before you reach your menopause. It can also help to protect you against ovarian cancer and weak bones (osteoporosis) in later life.

It is recommended that women feed only breast milk to their babies for the first six months of life. After your baby starts on solid food you can continue with breast feeding for the first year and beyond if you wish.

Breast milk is a complete food. It contains at least 400 nutriants as well hormones and disease fighting compounds. Its nutritional make-up even adjusts to your babies needs as they grow.

Perhaps more importantly, apart from the infection fighting, brain developing properties of your milk which no substitute can offer, breastfeeding helps in perhaps the most important way possible, by helping to build a very special bond between you and your baby.

Preparing to Breastfeed.

As long as you are healthy there is not much more you can do to prepare your body for breastfeeding. However, you can prepare your mind. Learn as much as you can before your baby is born and encourage your partner to learn about it too so that he can understand and support you.

How do I start Breastfeeding?

As feeds can take anything from 5 to 40 minutes find yourself a comfortable place and position. Atmosphere is important, especially when you are starting and still trying to get the hang of it.

If you are easily distracted by noise find somewhere quite. If you are easily bored you may want the TV or radio in the room if the feeding is going well. Try different places until you find the best place for you.

Hold your baby in a position that won’t make your arm and/or back ache. Have cushions or pillows to hand to support you and your baby. Many mums find that cradling a baby across their chest supported by a cushion works well

Get yourself and the baby in a relaxed position before you start feeding. Pay attention to how your breasts feel when your baby latches on. The baby should take in a large mouthful of breast tissue. If it hurts, gently break the suction by inserting your little finger between your baby’s gums and your nipple and try again. Once your baby latches on properly they won’t need any more help from you.

Is Breastfeeding Easy?

Some women adjust to breastfeeding easily but, many other new mums find it hard going. Remember, if your struggling you won’t be the only one. If you feel like giving up, or just want more advice, get in touch with a breastfeeding specialist. Your midwife might be a good starting point.

Breastfeeding takes practice. Look upon it as a skill that you will have to learn. You wouldn’t expect to be able to play an instrument without taking music lessons. Give yourself time to learn and don’t be too hard on yourself if you don’t get it straightaway.

If it’s not going well tell yourself that it will get easier and keep in mind that any problems you have initially are likely to pass.

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Reasons babies cry and what you should do

Even the happiest of babies will cry for up to three hours per day. As they are unable to do anything for themselves they rely on you to provide them with all the food, warmth and comfort they need. Crying is the only way they have of communicating those needs. With experience you will learn to interpret what your baby is trying to tell you but, initially this crying can be upsetting. Don’t worry, you will soon learn to recognise your baby’s different crying patterns and will be able to anticipate their needs.

Also as your baby grows they will learn to communicate with you in other ways which will reduce the need for crying. They will learn to make eye contact, smile or make other noises which, thankfully, all reduce the need for crying. The most common reasons babies cry are listed below. If you are finding your baby difficult to soothe, try working through the list. By doing this, you will at least re-assure your self that you have done all you can to meet their needs.

Feed me!

Hunger is the most common reason that new babies cry. The younger the baby is, the more likely that they are crying because they are hungry. The exception to this being the first day or two after birth when some babies feed very little. Young babies stomachs are very small so they will initially take very small amounts very frequently. If your baby is crying because they are hungry they will settle when their stomach starts to fill.

I’m not comfortable!

Babies will protest if they have a soiled nappy or their clothes are too tight and you’re not addressing the problem. Some babies don’t seem to mind if their nappy is full, it’s warm and comforting, but others will cry to be changed immediately, especially if they have a skin irritation. If your baby is crying, checking the nappy should be close to the top of the list of things you should be doing. Check that the other clothing isn’t too tight or, for any reason uncomfortable at the same time.

I’m too hot! (or cold)

Make sure that your baby is dressed according to the conditions they are in. They don’t want to be too hot or too cold. A simple rule to follow is that your baby probably needs to wear one more layer of clothing than you do to be comfortable.

When they are sleeping. Try to use sheets and blankets rather than a duvet. It’s easier to add and remove layers to get the temperature right. The room temp should be about 18 degrees C or 64 degrees F. Put them down on their back so that their feet are near the bottom of the cot. That way they won’t wriggle further down under the blankets and get too hot.

I need a cuddle

Some babies need a lot of cuddling and reassurance. Whilst older babies may feel settled by just hearing your voice or seeing you in the room new babies often need close physical contact. If your baby has already been fed and you’ve checked the nappy it might just be that they now crave a cuddle. Don’t worry that you will “spoil” your baby by holding them for too long during the first few months of their life.

I need a sleep

We always assume that babies fall asleep whenever they need too, simply because many of them always appear to be sleeping. However, if your baby has been getting a lot of attention, maybe you’ve had lots of visitors, your baby may have been unable to rest to the degree that is required. Newborns find it difficult to cope with too much stimulation and, it may unsettle them and make it difficult for them to rest. Many parents find that their baby cries more than normal when relatives come to stay, or visit. If there seems to be no other reason for your baby to cry then, the crying may just be their way of telling you that they have had enough. If that’s the case, take them somewhere quite and withdraw them from the stimulating environment. They may continue to cry for a while but will eventually settle.

I’m poorly

If you’ve tried everything else and your baby continues to cry you may start to wonder if they are ill or in pain. New parents can find it difficult to tell if their baby is crying because they are finding it difficult to adjust to being in the outside world or whether there is something genuinely wrong. An ill baby often cries with a different tone to their usual cry. It might appear to be more urgent or high pitched. (Also, if your baby usually cries often and they suddenly seem to stop. This may also be a sign that something is wrong.) If you think something is wrong with your baby seek help from a health professional immediately. Remember, nobody knows your baby as well as you do.

Colic

Colic is uncontrollable crying in a baby for prolonged periods. It’s not known what causes it and there is not much you can do about it. It is usually a short-term issue which your baby will probably grow out of over the next three months or so. The most difficult part of colic is the stress and anxiety it can cause parents. Try not to let it get on top of you and take a break if someone offers to help.

What can I do when my baby cries?

If you have attended to your babies needs and they are still crying there are things you can do to try and comfort them They don’t all work for all babies so you need to try them and find what works for you.

Wrap them up and hold them tight

New-borns definitely have a preference for felling snug and secure so you might try wrapping you baby firmly in a blanket to see if they like it. They also often seem to respond well to being held, especially if they can feel/hear your heartbeat. Other babies may find this too restrictive and may respond better to being rocked or sung too.

Find a predictable rhythm

In the womb babies can hear your heartbeat. It’s probably why they like to be held as new-borns. However, any repetitive noise can have the same effect. Try playing gentle music. Some parents even find that the steady rhythm of the washing machine can have a calming effect. Don’t put your baby on top of the machine but, consider letting them being near to it.

Rock-a-bye

Most babies love to be gently rocked. You can do this yourself or consider investing in a rocking chair.

Massage

Consider giving your baby a gentle massage. Gently rubbing their back and stomach can have a calming effect. If your baby seems to have a problem with wind try holing them in an upright position against your shoulder and gently rubbing their back. Babies who appear to have colic often respond well to having their stomach massaged.

Let them suck on something

In some new-borns the need to suck on something is very strong. Sucking a dummy or a finger or thumb can be very relaxing. It can steady a baby’s heart rate, relax their stomach and help the settle.

A baby that cries often will not do themselves any lasting harm but it can cause much distress for the parents. If you are doing everything you can to meet your baby’s needs don’t blame yourself if they continue to cry. Its time to start looking after yourself to make sure you don’t become overwhelmed by the situation. Make sure you get a rest and take some time out to relax yourself every now and again. If a friend or relative offers to help, let them, and make sure you are fighting fit to continue looking after your baby when the time comes.

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Nappy rash

What does nappy rash look like?

If your baby has nappy rash you will spot it immediately. Some of the skin which has been covered by the nappy, probably the genital area, the buttocks and, folds of skin where legs and buttocks meet will be red and inflamed. The area can be either dry or moist and sometimes will appear to be pimply.

If you spot these signs you should treat them immediately as, untreated it can develop into something worse such as a yeast or bacterial infection. Yeast infections are more common in babies who are taking antibiotics. The drugs will have killed the “good” bacteria which normally keep the yeast under control as well as the infection they were intended to treat. Yeast infections normally begin as small red spots, which multiply and grow into solid red blotches. Bacterial infections, which are often accompanied by a fever, can cause oozing yellow patches or pus-filled pimples.

Why has my baby got nappy rash?

The major cause of nappy rash is dampness. New-borns urinate often and will have several loose bowel movements over any 24-hour period. Diarrhoea can also lead to nappy rash. It is almost impossible for you to keep your baby dry all the time. You may notice bowel movements quite quickly but you won’t spot every time your baby urinates. Even the best nappy will leave some moisture in contact with the skin. You must make every effort to change your babies nappy regularly to minimise the risk of nappy rash. However, if your baby has particularly sensitive skin they may be prone to nappy rash even if you change the nappy regularly.

How can I treat nappy rash?

Prevention is better than cure so make every effort to keep your baby clean and dry. If your baby is not yet mobile let them have time without wearing a nappy to allow the air to dry of the infected area. This will speed up the healing process. Make sure the room is warm and dry and let the baby lay on a towel, which you can wash as required. If your baby is mobile you may not want to try this unless you have an area which can be easily cleaned.

If your baby’s rash is allergy based use clean warm water and cotton wool to clean the infected area. Try switching to a super absorbent nappy to minimise moisture on the skin.

A normal nappy rash should clear up after three or four days of treatment at home. If the rash persists, spreads, or worsens whilst you are home treating you should visit your doctor. He may prescribe a hydrocortisone or anti-bacterial cream.

How can I prevent nappy rash?

• Change your baby’s nappy as soon as possible after you notice it has become wet or soiled.
• Clean the nappy area thoroughly everytime you change a nappy. Allow the skin to dry before you put a clean nappy back onto your baby.
• Coat the nappy area with a protective cream during each nappy change.
• Don’t fasten nappies too tightly. Allow room for air to circulate around the nappy.

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Your baby's development (10-12 Months)

Month 10

Most will now be waving goodbye and picking things up using the pincer grasp. They should be crawling well and cruising around the furniture. About half will say "mama"/"dada" to the correct parent. They will start to respond to their name and will understand "no", when you say it. They will indicate what they want with hand gestures. The more advanced will now be drinking from a cup and will stand alone for a couple of seconds. They will put objects into a container.

Month11

Most will now say "mama"/"dada" to the correct parent. They will play "patty-cake" and will stand alone for a couple of seconds. About half will now understand simple instructions and imitate actions done by others. The more advanced will now start bending whilst in a standing position and will have learned a second word.

Month 12

Most should now be imitating others and, indicating their wants with hand gesture. They will often jabber word-like sounds. About half will take their first steps and understand simple instructions. They will say their second word. The more advanced will now walk well and will start to scribble with a crayon. They will start using other words.

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